Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
