Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Your cock deserves a montage
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
