why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
