i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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