I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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