Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
