I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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