Nicole vs. Life
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
