How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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