white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You need Xanax blowdarts
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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