I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
