It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
