sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
