She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
