capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
