It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
