whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
we're so committed to being not committed
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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