Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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