Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Randomize
