I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
