Whoa Z and x make the same sound
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
