the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
