Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
