I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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