Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
