You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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