Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
