Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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