After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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