I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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