Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
