chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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