ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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