And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The Olympian is in my bed
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
