I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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