Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
