You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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