Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
