I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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