why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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