New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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