scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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