We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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