Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Randomize
