i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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