On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
