i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
