Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
