Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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