i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
