Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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